I used to think I was a reasonably cool guy. Now that I’ve taken an astounding 20 math classes since I started college, though, it’s all been going downhill. The Tolstoy and Marquez that I used to have on my bookshelf are replaced by (seriously) “Mathematical Programming with Equilibrium Constraints” and “Optimal Control Theory: An Introduction”.

But yesterday was truly the coup de grace. I come home to a call from a friend of mine from back in high school. “Hey Kev,” he says, “have you seen King of Kong yet? You have to watch it.”

Now, King of Kong is a hilarious documentary about this middle school science teacher who tries to break Billy Mitchell’s record on the arcade game Donkey Kong. We’ve actually met Billy a few times - he is ridiculous. Back in the early 80s, when he was a teenager, he set the record in a ton of arcade games like Pac-Man, and was featured on TV and in magazines like Life. Incredibly, he actually had groupies. He now sells his brand of hot sauce, but still comes to famous arcades now and again to show off his skills, never showing up in anything but a full suit, long hair, a beard and a patriotic tie.

(Subnote: A few years back, I actually knew quite a few people involved in the early days of videogames. A few of us went to an event in San Jose maybe three years ago, and I was checking out the original Pong arcade game that they had on display. By “original”, I mean, actually the very first cabinet built by the guys who went on to found Atari. While I was there, an older guy with a big white beard comes over and wants to know if I want to play a game. Holy moly, it’s Al Alcorn, founder of Atari! I got up 9-7 on him (Pong goes to 11) when he started cheating by taking advantage of a glitch he knew about that made the ball disappear. He won 11-9! The rat!)

Kev vs. AlToday a copy of King of Kong arrived in the mail and I threw it in the DVD player. About 5 minutes in, hey!, that’s us! Yep, two friends and I are watching Mitchell play an arcade game, and the shot made the movie.

I’m pretty sure that there’s no hope of ever being cool again once you’ve appeared in the Donkey Kong documentary, though. Screenshot to follow.

wow. so you call me on valentines day during dinner to rub this in my face. your an ass man.

I would have loved to have been in the shot, but instead i was making sweet moola selling games. we should go back to one of those expos again.

Ok. it has been almost two months since your last update and your readers (meaning me) would really appreciate the knowledge and wisdom of the one and only cure